One Week Till It's Here

In a week I am back in AZ. I neglect to say "home" because I have decided that Arizona is no longer home. For someplace to be "home", one must live there more than one month a year, and since in 2010 I will only be in Arizona 4 days (and not even 4 full days) I regret to say, I am now no longer my own official resident of America.

For a long time I have stolen a good theory from Pumba the Warthog, from the Lion King, "Home is where your rump rests", and while this theory may work for Pumba, I am sorry to say that I now disagree. After lots of time and prayer I have realized home is Jesus, and Jesus is in me, so therefore home, for me, can only be found within myself. I carry my home with me, and while I am entrusting it to other people, Ruth, Vicky, Ashley, Kyleigh, Stevie, Matt, and others, home is found a bit in each of them as well. So home is no longer where I rest, home is where I am at peace, which can only be found when Jesus and I are on the same page.

I have not been excited to go back to Arizona, I kinda feel that my three week trip is kinda like overstaying a welcome. I would rather spend one day each with everyone I love and entrust myself to (except ashley axup, who I plan to steal as a stow-away in my bag and bring back to Leicester with me), and then I'll come back here, to the rain and darkness and cold and Matt. But I imagine that when I get there, to the desert, I will fall back into line with my natural way and enjoy the time I have, even if that means having to eat LOADS of Mexican food.

(and just so we're all clear, Mexican food is one thing that I really wish England had a LOT more of)

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

So, I figured that posting a blog update would be the best way to fill in most people across the ocean on my recent relationship activity.

His name is Matt Collinson. He's a student here in Leicester, and part of the Nav ministry at the university. We started dating about 4 weeks ago, but I was hesitant to make it facebook public, since I knew I wouldn't be able to tell people before everything went down. Oh well... now everyone knows. I'm sorry for not keeping everyone up to date, life gets so busy! For the whole story feel free to email me and demand details :-)

I miss you all!
xx

Update, I'd title it something more interesting, but I suck at Blogging so...

So... I officially suck in the realm of blogging. Sorry friends. But, allow me to attempt to redeem myself in a short update of life.

In September my family suffered a huge blow when my grandfather died and I had to fly back to Arizona to be with them and for the funeral. It was a great service though. It celebrated the life of an amazing man who loved God and his wife and his family very much and was a great example of determination and strength.

While at home I got some good quality time with Ashley and Brian, sorry that I didn't see anyone else, I was mostly hiding out, I love and miss you both! And Ashley recorded one of my most embarrassing, but honest moments in a Wal-Mart.

October has been a crazy month. Classes started the first week and all the students came back, and I got to meet all the amazing people who had joined Navs in the year that I was gone. I was a bit worried that it would be weird to be an American on Connect, but mostly I just get made fun of a lot for the silly things Americans tend to do. (hehe.. people think I'm really loud here.... I can't wait to introduce them to actual loud Americans.)

Connect has been amazing. I have been extremely challenged in so many aspects of my personal walk with Christ, and I feel like God is showing me a whole realm of new ideas and training I was never exposed to as a student. Seeing a ministry from this angle has been eye-opening. The amount of love that goes into every planning aspect has been inspiring and provided a deeper respect in my heart for staff here.

I can't thank everyone enough for all the financial and prayer support I've had. I know I'm really hard to get in touch with, I'm so sorry. Currently it is a 7 hour time difference between England and AZ, so phone calls and chatting is a bit difficult, but I'm good with emails and facebook things.

As for prayer requests, my main priorities are:
1) We have a main meeting coming up for students to bring non-believing friends to. Please pray that our students take the opprotunity to do this and that it impacts the lives of their friends.
2) I've been praying for peace and patience in my own life. For a greater surrender to God. And through this I would be able to love people better.
3) Finally, please pray for the students themselves. It is now midterm time and most are stressed with club activities as well as school-work. Pray that they would find restful times in Jesus as well as time to physically rest.

Thank you all so much! I'll be in Arizona from December 14th to January 4th, hoping to see everyone soon!!!!

(but I will try to update again before then. :-) )

Preach it Sista!

I know I haven't updated in a while, and that I should probably post all the amazing things (and some not quite so amazing things) that have been going on in my life, and perhaps I will in time, but what I am most excited about, and most eager to share with my friends throughout the world that read this is how Jesus blessed my very first talk.

But I don't even know how to explain it. I've been walking on cloud nine ever since I finished and my realm of terror subsided. I spoke about grace. Jesus' grace, and how to live in it. Why we should live in Jesus' grace. Even thinking about it now I think of things I could have said, or maybe should have said, scripture I could have used, words that would have better communicated what I meant, but in spite of everything I could have fallen short in, Jesus used the words I did say to communicate His loving grace of living in this fallen world.

The main point God gave me to share in a talk where my goal was to motivate people to walk with God based on grace was that we have freedom in fallenness. That Christ's grace offers us freedom in fallenness. So, I guess if I learn anything from my own talk, it is that I had the freedom to completely botch it in the first place.

:-)

My Realm of Maybes

So I am officially all moved into my new home for the year. Decorations up, and one house mate moved in, with one coming soon. But even with all this excitement, this, sadly, is not what my mind has been dwelling on.

Although I have many practical things I should be thinking about, my mind wanders elsewhere to a realm of curiosity and "what if"s. I know it is silly, and I wish I could constantly focus... do that 'be where I'm at' thing, but no matter how hard I try, at night, or in the early morning, or when something changes, my mind drifts off into a gentle haze of "maybe".

I think it's because life is kinda hazy for me right now... I have no way to predict what's going to happen the next day, week, month, or until Christmas. Even though I've been in England almost a week I still have no more idea about the future than the day I left America. No more solutions... only more questions... only more maybes.

And unfortunately this isn't one of those, "I should give this up to God" things. It's a me thing... it's a how I'm wired thing... It's a "this is why I sit and ponder for hours in bed before I actually wake up and greet the world" and "why my journal is full of thoughts and hopes" thing.

This week we have a conference introducing Connect and Navs and all those good things. I'm kinda nervous about being the only non-English person, but as I get more accustomed to being here I start to realize... they all knew I wasn't English when they invited me to come.

New Address

So, I moved to England, and though I'm not actually moved into my new place yet, I felt I should supply my coming English address:

Elizabeth Skepnek
84 Highway Road
Evington, Leicester LE5 5RF
(and this is the part for all the Americans)
Leicestershire, England, UK

love you all! and I'll update about my trip soon!
-Elizabeth

One Week from 17 minutes ago.

I am leaving to go back to England. *deep breathe* Crazy.

I'm not packed... which is slightly terrifying, and I'm worried that my body has adjusted to the Arizona heat and may die of cold when I step off the plane... Or I'll drown if it's raining.

I am excited to go back, but terror outweighs it by more than I can convey.

The only things I have been thinking about is spending as much time as possible with the people I am closest to, packing, making sure I didn't forget something I'll actually need that I don't want to/couldn't buy over there, and eating all the good food I can, since, no offense guys, but you know... it is England.

*sigh*

one week from 23 minutes ago now... oh dear.

Big World... too much to think about.

Right now I should be on a plane to Mexico. Unfortunately, with having fundraising, moving, cleaning, getting my visa, seeing my friends, being sick, and being absurdly poor on my mind, I forgot that when I sent my passport to California to let the Brits put a UK passport in it, that I would need that same passport to get into/back out of Mexico later that week.

damn.

It was one of those thoughts that didn't even cross my mind. Which got me thinking about other thoughts, that until recently, have never crossed my worried mind. And trust me, it's full.

My brother, and one of my most beloved friends, is doing something very brave, especially considering his age. He is looking to buy a business. He wants to become an entrepreneur. To own his own coffee shop. Unfortunately, it costs money that he doesn't have.

His venture has gotten me thinking a lot about my own financial future. Yes, right now I am fundraising for my salary, but I highly doubt this will be the case forever. And eventually I'd like to have some amount of financial stability in my life. But does financial stability mean physical stability? or emotional or spiritual stability? Is there a career I could do and travel all over the world still? oh, but I guess I'd like to get married and all that...

humph... I guess one day I'll do the adult thing... lol. maybe.

Why I Don't Blog Anymore

It seems funny to me to explain my lack of internet output in the last few months. Not like anyone reads this, but I believe that for the people that do, I should explain myself.

I am not one to outwardly express my thoughts before I finish them. Often, I absorb information, analyze what I think/feel about it, and react. When most people ask me about a situation they get my final thought process instead of everything it took me to get there. This seems to leave most people speculative about my sanity... I'm starting to agree.

In the last two months since my graduation I've had a lot to contemplate, and a lot to recover from. And alas, though I feel I am still far from feeling 100%, I am feeling better. Though I would like to regale the 6-7 people that read this with everything that went down, I believe putting life's more intimate details online for public scrutiny is faux pas... at least for me. But I will say that in conclusion (there I go again, not explaining anything) I am a liar. Not to other people, just to myself. I have been lying to myself for a while and I can't say when it started, or what I was attempting to cope with to get it where it is, but a liar is what I am.

I haven't been honest with myself, about myself, in a long time and now it seems time I fess up. My most appalling lie has been in my actions; to be more specific my thought actions. That makes no sense. Like I mentioned before, I don't simply react when something happens. And this thinking thing is my coping mechanism to... something. I used to just act, and life occurred just the same as it does now, and I felt less guilty about it.

So I have been considering thinking less, and acting more, and trying to feel less guilty about EVERYTHING that I do. After all, Christ didn't come to Earth to make me feel bad about who he created me to be. In fact, since God created me in His image I should feel more consistently blessed than condemned, but perhaps this is another topic.

So I'm putting this out there so that I can hopefully get some input. As we age, should we be more speculative about ourselves? About our actions? I have said to myself for a while now that I stopped flirting when I was interested in someone because I felt it was manipulative, but is something like flirtation manipulative? Or is it just a part of being who we are? What is the purpose of analyzing all my thoughts and actions? Should I just go with my gut?

Why as I get older do I only find more questions to ask?

oh joy... another question.

contemplating

how is it that when I was younger I thought I was smart and now as I get older I know SOOO much less...

Where Do I Go From Here?

What do I put my hope in? Where do I invest my time? Where do I place my value? Recently I'm thinking I may have gotten these BIG questions wrong. I was doing it wrong. I put a lot of hope in a system, which God is taking from me. I've put a lot of time into that same system and the people there, and now God is moving me out of it. And I have received my value from the people in this system.


But some truth:
My hope is in Christ. And Christ alone. He is my strength and shield, my protector, my provider, and my best friend. The days that I'm not running after Him, I'm chasing nothing. And it took being a Christian for almost 9 years for me to get this as much as I do now, which may only be the tip of another iceberg.

How does one invest more time with Jesus other than in the word? yea. I'm still figuring that one out. But of all these questions, that's the only one I feel I have been doing better in for a while now.

My value is determined by Christ. By God. Not by what others say or think or how they react or act towards me... but out of all of these big questions, this one is the hardest to get over.

Missions Occur Where Ever the Lost People Are

I'm from Gilbert, Arizona. It's a small little farm town on the outskirts of Phoenix, one of the largest cities and one of the fastest growing in the US. Growing up in Gilbert, and especially being a teenager, provided me with the ability to have something to do in the city, while still having a very safe home. Not that Phoenix is all that dangerous anyway, but Gilbert is the kinda place where you can accidentally leave your doors open and nothing will get stolen.

Last week a murder occurred in Gilbert, Arizona. One of the safest places I can think of in the world. It's one of those: I go running at 3AM when I'm home and can't sleep, safe places. The biggest thing that happens to us is when tractors make traffic slow or kids toilet paper houses when it rains.

It's not that it freaks me out that my hometown isn't safe. If anything, Gilbert is more of a vacation residence for me, but I get the feeling that so many other people's lives were shaken up by the events. People in Gilbert base a lot of life purpose in possessions and things, in the idea of money making the world go round and living to be the "leave it to Beaver" family. Family's have cars and mopeds and 4-wheelers and boats, houses with more rooms than people and garages with more cars than licensed drivers. This is a place where "how it looks" is far more important than anything else.

I often think that the people who live to share their walks with Jesus with people in Gilbert are so much stronger than I. How do you advertise Christ to people who have EVERYTHING and whatever they don't have they could buy? Please send a quick prayer up for all the missionaries of Gilbert. They have their work cut out for them.

Is Home Really Where My Rump Rests?

This year has been an odd year, and due to the intense situations ebbing and flowing through my senior year I have been disinclined to truly enjoy where I am. So it was a great surprise to me when, for the first time in 7 months, I actually started enjoying my desert. My spring break was actually full of fun little surprises like that.

It hit me while I was taking the 60 home. I remembered a Dutch phrase I learned last January. Translated, it's something like "if the sun sets red, tomorrow will be a good day". Haha... well, that's not so hard for Phoenix. With a climate not allowing for many clouds or moisture, our sunrises and sunsets have more colors in a single day than most people ever see. So I guess that means a very high percentage of days should have good "tomorrow"s.

While I glided along the silent freeway going somewhere around 70mph with the windows down, the cool desert spring air hit with a slight wet scent which probably meant that somewhere a sprinkler had broken. The mountains shone red in front of me and I heavily considered continuing until I ran out of gas, which in my little car could have been well into the night. And suddenly it hit me. I'm not going to live here. I know, I don't really live in Gilbert anymore as is, but after August I really won't live there. I don't even know exactly when I'd be coming back. A few months? A year? more? I don't want to stay. I'm not wishing I could be in Gilbert or Tucson instead, it just seems so odd to think that my parents house will never be my home anymore. Even though I haven't spent more than 3 consecutive weeks at home in the past 4 years I've always referred to it as my home. It's the place where I send my phone and credit bills, it's the place where I run to when I get tired of real life. But after August I can't just go back to my childhood sanctuary.

I guess Christ will just have to get that much bigger for me.

God Knows So Much More Than I

In the past few months I have become increasingly grateful for my family, and this gratefulness was surpassed more than ever before this week.

My parents have not been very church-y people most of my life, in fact, though I don't doubt their faith, they still don't stand under the traditional church standards, and for this I have usually been ashamed. My family has not really held to traditional standards most of my life and this has led me to sometimes wish I had a different family, but after this week I really don't think I'd wish it ever again.

My friend and I had a crazy idea a week ago today. We decided to go skydiving. IT WAS AMAZING! And instead of freaking out, telling me I was crazy, or suggesting I shouldn't go, my parents told me to have fun and call when I was safely back on the ground. The day of the trip due to my anxiety from the night before and my adrenaline rush during the dive, I was exhausted by 2pm, so when my mom called to congratulate me at 4 I was still kinda out of it. But I think the kicker in the whole situation, the thing that made me truly look at my family in a way I probably haven't seen them before was my aunt posting her status on facebook as a congratulations to me. I couldn't believe it, my whole family actually supports me.

Many of my friends told their parents what I'd done and their parents asked them not to go. Haha... these people tell their kids to stay safely on the ground, my family encourages me to jump out of a plane, and have an absolute blast during the fall back to Earth.

My family's not perfect, far from it, but if there is one thing I hope to pass onto my children that my parents have taught me, it's that the best things in life are scary, hard to face, and probably dangerous, but if you don't do them, then what's the point of living? Looking back on the past 21 (almost 22!!) years, I'm only just starting to realize why God put my where He did.

Dedicated to my mother, father, all the crazy Mexicans I'm related to, and all the crazy white people too. Thank you for all the wonderful support and compliments this week, it has really meant a lot. Much love, Elizabeth-Marie (zibet)

If Casablanca's Problems Don't Amount to A Hill of Beans in This Crazy World, Then I'm Screwed

One of my favorite games to play when I was in Europe last year (I can't believe it has already been a year) was a kind of "what if" game. "What would I be doing if I were not Studying Abroad right now?" It was always a fun game to play. Because, trust me, no matter what I was doing in England is was a heck of a lot more exciting than whatever I could be doing in Tucson, Arizona. Even if it was just sleeping... I was sleeping in ENGLAND... hmmm.... Tucson.... England... *weighs scales* yea... I think England wins out on the "excitement" factor inherently.

One day, while Katie and I were walking though Rome, I stopped to think about what I'd really be doing in I weren't walking around in Rome, truly think about it. It was about 5 pm, the sun was looking like it might set in the next few hours, and we were about 100 yards away from the Colosseum. It was 7 am in Phoenix. If I hadn't gotten an internship, or traveled somewhere, or something like that, I'd have a job. I'd be working. I'd be getting up, and doing something very adulty in 125 degree phoenix summer heat. ew. And then it occurred to me, right now I know what I'm doing if I'm not here. I'm working. Probably for a hospital, or some cooperation, or possibly the government. But I know what I'm doing instead. And I certainly know that life has nothing nearly as exciting as walking up to the Colosseum going on in Phoenix in the summer. But after graduation... I don't know. If I move back to Europe (and that includes England) or if I stay home, or if I move to New York or San Fransisco or Washington D.C., or heck, even Seattle, I have no idea what might happen. Everywhere will be different. I don't know who I might meet or what I might do...

I want to move back to England. But as graduation looms closer I start to realize that this really is it. I'm done with my childhood. I graduated from college, at least as an undergraduate, and that is really the major thing, right? In years to come I might go back to school, but from May 16th onward, all my choices are any one's guess. Nothing will be set. I can never guess what I might be doing anywhere else. I mean sure, I guess I could try to guess what I might be doing if I lived in my hometown, but still... I'd be a far off shot.

Who Are You to Lead These People?

I HATE sharing things. Hate Hate Hate Hate. And I don't mean physical things. Sure, you can borrow my blanket, or have some of my apple, or wear my skirt. Whatever. Those things are incredibly unimportant. No, I mean I have an intense aversion to sharing personal things, like thoughts, dreams, memories and the whatnot.

And it's not just the fact that I feel vulnerable. Haha, I wish that were all. I mean, I hear the little voice in my mind that warns me that I'm being absurdly open, but if it were just a little voice that I had to overcome it'd be a much smaller job. I think I have a physical aversion to sharing as well. I get all shaky, my legs shake like I have shivers from the cold, my teeth chatter to the point where I can barely speak, my hands fidget so that anything that can be torn up around me will be utterly destroyed, my breath can't be caught and I just go completely weak, and huge tears well up and completely blind me (and since crying is one of my LEAST favorite activities this one might be the worst aspect, for me). So in order for me to actually get over all of it and talk about the more intimate aspects of life I don't just overcome that general need to self-protect. oh no. It is soooo much more.

I know that I'm generally very personable. Sure. Why not? I can talk to anybody about nothing forever, but if the subject ever gets too close to home... well, let's just say that it usually dosen't ever get too close.

I don't know what makes me so uncomfortable. I don't know if everyone experiences things like this. Maybe I'm just a suuuper private person. That's what I've always attributed it to anyway. But lately, I'm starting to think I might be wrong on that one.

Not Sober Enough to Say: No, Not Drunk Enough to Say: GO AWAY!

So I honestly believe that a person is their truest self when intoxicated. haha... Maybe this is a foolish perception, and if you disagree I would love to hear an argument against it, but I think that the person you are drunk is a very close resemblance of who you are at your core.

Of course this could just be me. And if that is the case, I'm completely ok with it. When intoxicated I become the girl I was when I was much younger, a time when I had more self confidence, and (though sometimes this is not such a good thing) less self-restraint. I become the life of the party, fun-loving, outgoing, and very, and sometimes brutally, honest. My sober self is much more reserved. Not that I wish I were this other girl more of the time, if this were the case I would just change, but if I could choose a person to be after a beer or two, the person I am isn't far from my ideal. This may be why I don't find it horrible to say that I believe a root core of oneself is expressed while slightly intoxicated.

However, I think people who are "sad drunks" generally feel differently. They find intoxication a time to lament those things which they generally keep bottled. I still think this is in true form of who they are, but just like me and my reserved "sober self", they hide their sadness from a society which believes that sadness is one of the least acceptable emotions.

I believe people who are truly sad become more depressed when drunk, I believe people who are angry become more angry, truthful people become more honest and happy people become more outgoing. Deep people contemplate more, horny people try to hook up, weird people just get weirder, people who are hiding who they really are let loose, and responsible people end up remembering everything in the morning and making sure everyone got home alright from the night before.

Of course I have just a few days under a year of experience with alcohol.... This is simply what I have observed in 363 days... and I could very easily be totally off base
:-D

Memory Lane Must Run Parallel with Future Ave.

So today I went to visit my old high school. Mesquite High... home of the Wildcats... (WILDCATS IN THE HOUUUSE!... haha... riiight). The trip was... not what I expected, to say the least.

Hanging out with my old teachers was great. I got to see Mrs. Abbott, Mrs. Paulson, Dr. Kramer, Mr. Stone and Mr. Brabec, and the only teacher I missed that I had really meant to see was Mr. Dole, my old science teacher. haha. And going to see these old teachers was amazing. A few of them I got to catch up with a bit, hear about their lives in the past 4 years, talk about my degrees, my lab and moving to Europe, but I the coolest part of talking with my old teachers was getting to share a bit with them that I am reluctant to share with most people.

Most people don't know all my reasons for wanting to move back to England. Yes, I have many friends there, yes, I loved living there, yes, I am a very private person, yes, I have lots of thoughts that I don't share with anyone... haha. But getting to share one of my most secret reasons with one of my favorite teachers, one of the women who has inspired me most in life, I felt more encouraged than I could possibly describe. She was actually happy for me. She didn't question me, she didn't ask me to rethink it or ask if I was sure or not about my reason. No. Instead she smiled, congratulated me, was excited for me and asked for all the details. *sigh* It was the exact reaction that I have never gotten that I've always wanted.

Although this alone would have made my day and I certainly was not expecting it, two other things happen when I was entering my old school which still slightly baffle my mind.

1) I walked in from the student lot. I came in right as classes were getting out and I was hoping to swing in just as most of the students were leaving, but before the teachers. This wasn't the weird part. The weird part came one right after the other as I was walking onto the campus. I was about to cross the street from the lot to the building, but I guess people have to wait to cross the street (haha... at 16 people are still apparently too dumb to know when or not to cross the street from the incoming buses.) and the crossing guard called out "ma'am, you have to come on this side... these crazy kids might accidentally run you over. Most of them just got their licences, you know." I looked up... was she talking to me?! There was no one else there. I looked around me to make sure there wasn't someone else near me. Nope... I was the "ma'am"... This was weird thing number 1.

2) So eventually I got to cross the street. Walking into the school a crowd of kids start walking toward me, some of the girls were walking backward and flirting (haha... I definitely remember thinking that not only was this talented, but cool at one point of time) And some guy in the group looks toward me and says to the girl trying to get his attention "hey, turn around, some lady is behind you... don't run into her." I looked up and he smiled, like he had just something gentlemanly or something... meh, maybe it was... but LADY?! me? I'm not OLD. some LADY... humph.... urg.

I guess I don't really think of myself as an adult. Yes, I will be a college grad in 4 months... whatever. It's still weird. I guess the great part of the experience was with Abbott, but the stuff with the students make me giggle... lady. haha.

My 2008 Memories...ish

So I was inspired by my roommate's blog to do this...

Happy 2009!!!! but first, a quick view through my 2008:

January: break ups and continent movements... Arrive in Heathrow to the terror of fog and rain! Move into my single room in Leicester (a city which most people still can't pronounce off the spelling) and make new friends... FAST.

February: Meet the Dutch and Leicester Navs... BEST DECISION EVER. Katy comes to visit... "pro: he has an accent, con: if we have kids they'll call me mummy and that will make me feel Egyptian." Travel to Scotland. Finally get my mind back.

March: make a plan for the 5 week break, leave for the 5 week break, backpack through the Czech Rep, Germany, France, Switzerland, Italy and Greece.

April: Continue trip through Spain, France (again), Belgium and Holland. Then finally back to England. Awkwardness and freedom ensues. Turn 21, dance on a bar in Paris.

May: Parents visit. Goodbye Leicester, temporarily. Jesus saves the day when I least expect it. Katie comes to town.

June: Travel to France and Italy, again. Traveling with Katie Sherer is uber easy. Off to Wales, "be still my beating heart", chill with Ruth and Zoe.

July: mission trip to Holland, chillax and regroup with EDGErs and begin to remember what American Christians are like, even though these are not the typical ones. Back to England, I love you Ruth and Zoe! London and Southampton were great, and a thanks to Colin for the breakfast.

August: A miserable return to the Phoenix heat. A horrible time reasjusting to America... back to UofA, back to responsible life, but living with Ashley... yep... thats probably the one good thing about August. haha.

September: Another month of dullness, though I have made friends with some of the coolest Juniors in the world. Begin Twilight addiction.

October: Apply for England. Oh how I miss Leicester.

November: The WORST month of college...EVER. ULGH is this year over yet?!

December: pass cell bio. bunk the beds. guitar for Christmas. bring in the new year by watching Pride and Prejudice with my daddy.

Summary: So from 2008 I learned about my ability to sleep in sketchy places, make new friends with ease, say "no", and how much I feel more at peace outside the USA, at least for now. By this time next year who knows where I'll have been or where I'll be writing from, what I do know is that Jesus taught me the intertwined nature of grace, acceptance, and love.