If Casablanca's Problems Don't Amount to A Hill of Beans in This Crazy World, Then I'm Screwed

One of my favorite games to play when I was in Europe last year (I can't believe it has already been a year) was a kind of "what if" game. "What would I be doing if I were not Studying Abroad right now?" It was always a fun game to play. Because, trust me, no matter what I was doing in England is was a heck of a lot more exciting than whatever I could be doing in Tucson, Arizona. Even if it was just sleeping... I was sleeping in ENGLAND... hmmm.... Tucson.... England... *weighs scales* yea... I think England wins out on the "excitement" factor inherently.

One day, while Katie and I were walking though Rome, I stopped to think about what I'd really be doing in I weren't walking around in Rome, truly think about it. It was about 5 pm, the sun was looking like it might set in the next few hours, and we were about 100 yards away from the Colosseum. It was 7 am in Phoenix. If I hadn't gotten an internship, or traveled somewhere, or something like that, I'd have a job. I'd be working. I'd be getting up, and doing something very adulty in 125 degree phoenix summer heat. ew. And then it occurred to me, right now I know what I'm doing if I'm not here. I'm working. Probably for a hospital, or some cooperation, or possibly the government. But I know what I'm doing instead. And I certainly know that life has nothing nearly as exciting as walking up to the Colosseum going on in Phoenix in the summer. But after graduation... I don't know. If I move back to Europe (and that includes England) or if I stay home, or if I move to New York or San Fransisco or Washington D.C., or heck, even Seattle, I have no idea what might happen. Everywhere will be different. I don't know who I might meet or what I might do...

I want to move back to England. But as graduation looms closer I start to realize that this really is it. I'm done with my childhood. I graduated from college, at least as an undergraduate, and that is really the major thing, right? In years to come I might go back to school, but from May 16th onward, all my choices are any one's guess. Nothing will be set. I can never guess what I might be doing anywhere else. I mean sure, I guess I could try to guess what I might be doing if I lived in my hometown, but still... I'd be a far off shot.