Coming and Going

Maybe it is the point in life that I am at, but I always feel that I am leaving. I suppose I am coming as well, but since that part isn't as difficult to deal with I focus on it less. Perhaps it comes from moving around so often, perhaps it would be the same even if I stayed in one place, but I always seem to be leaving something, someone, somewhere...

I leave my parents and EVBC-ers in Gilbert, I leave my bible study girls and the many of my close friends in Tucson, I left my Argentine friends in Argentina, and soon I'll leave my English and Dutch friends to go back to America. I am always leaving.

I'm not trying to focus on the unhappy aspects of life, not in the least, but I am beginning to wonder if I am leading a normal life. Or if I want to lead a normal life at all. I recently spoke to a very wise man who told me to "be confident in my life's calling". I know exactly what he means, and I think that part scares me the most.

I don't think that I lead a normal life. Normal people don't really travel the world, meeting new people and going on random adventures with them. Normal people care about what they are eating, where they are sleeping, where they are going. I care about those things, but at the same time, I don't as well. Perhaps I'm not "normal". Normal people don't choose to study something difficult just for fun, or major in two totally different things just on a whim. Normal people question why, and I do, but I don't as well. Maybe I'm really not normal. And as I begin to ponder the average life, two kids, big house, white fence, dog, it makes me think... who the heck wants normal anyways? When did "average" become good? I don't think that "normal" is meant for me.

Sometimes I wish it was though. How nice would it be to know that you fit in with the crowd?