Age v. Maturity

Conferences are funny things. You go to them, meet great people, hear good things and before you know it you are on your way back home and you think to yourself, "wow, that went by fast. It feels like I just got here". Or, that's how I always seem to relate to conferences.

I just got back from a Dutch Christian Leadership conference yesterday (not that I am Dutch, nor a leader, but that is not the point). And as I have moved from country to country within Europe and this is my second christian conference this summer (neither of which was American based) I am finding them more and more interesting. For me, the most influential and important part of the week is the people I meet and grow deeper with and the conversations that I have; perhaps it is my age group or my personality type, but these most interesting conversations always seem to happen at night. A few nights ago there was a campfire (yes, most good conversations seem to include a campfire) and many of the students were gathered around it. So I, being the sociable person that I am, was there as well. As I wandered from friend to friend around the fire I struck up a conversation with a girl I hadn't met yet; her words are the ones that caught me the most. To be honest I can't remember her name, even if I did I probably couldn't spell it (her name being Dutch and all) but she opened up and shared her heart with me. She mentioned how her life had seemingly fallen apart in recent years due to family issues and how she felt a responsibility to pull her life back together. After hearing her past and how God was challenging her to step into it to repair herself from it I was touched. Just a few nights before one of the conference leaders had visions of people who might need prayer, she had been one of those people. And in the midst of conversation I realized that God knew that if He had given someone a vision to pray over me I probably would have just run away, but this girl, this conversation which pointed so directly into my life, I could not run away from.

She talked about how she knew now that she needed to seek out a councilor to help her deal with these issues. She and I are the same age and so I asked her if she felt that she was too young to have to deal with this stuff yet, especially from a professional therapist type person. She said she felt that, but knew that if he didn't deal now it would only get worse for later. And that is when it hit me. No matter how old I am there are certain responsibilities I will have to take. I will not be defined by the poor circumstances of my past. I have reached an unfortunate age where I no longer feel I can place responsibility of my poor decisions on someone else, so I will not let someone else's poor choices determine who I am.

yea... growth.