Loving Where I'm At

I've been yearning to write something for a while, but had no clue what to put down. And while watching a film I just purchased it came to me. One of the lessons I am currently struggling to learn and appreciate.

I am 21. I am a Christian. I cannot pretend to be more mature that I am. I cannot react with more maturity than I have. I can only live and make decisions with the information and ability I have at hand.

I think Americans are forced into maturing at a younger age than people in other countries. Or at least that is how it seems in all the countries I have lived in thus far. And this is probably why we all look so old in comparison to the rest of the world. As a Christian, and due to some of my past experiences, I feel maturity was thrust upon me at an age that I could not cope with it yet and so... I rebelled. If there is one thing I am good at in this life, it is rebelling.

So now I am trying not to pretend. I want to live life being who I am right now. That doesn't mean I stop growing. That doesn't mean I make stupid decisions. Actually, I don't really know what it means. But what I think it means is that I forgive myself when I am stupid, that I congratulate myself when I succeed, and that I enjoy growth as it comes.

I mean, honestly, if we were meant to know at 19 what we know by the time we are 60 then we wouldn't have to wait till we were 60 to know... whatever it is that I don't know yet.

:-)