So, I moved to England, and though I'm not actually moved into my new place yet, I felt I should supply my coming English address:
Elizabeth Skepnek
84 Highway Road
Evington, Leicester LE5 5RF
(and this is the part for all the Americans)
Leicestershire, England, UK
love you all! and I'll update about my trip soon!
-Elizabeth
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
One Week from 17 minutes ago.
I am leaving to go back to England. *deep breathe* Crazy.
I'm not packed... which is slightly terrifying, and I'm worried that my body has adjusted to the Arizona heat and may die of cold when I step off the plane... Or I'll drown if it's raining.
I am excited to go back, but terror outweighs it by more than I can convey.
The only things I have been thinking about is spending as much time as possible with the people I am closest to, packing, making sure I didn't forget something I'll actually need that I don't want to/couldn't buy over there, and eating all the good food I can, since, no offense guys, but you know... it is England.
*sigh*
one week from 23 minutes ago now... oh dear.
I'm not packed... which is slightly terrifying, and I'm worried that my body has adjusted to the Arizona heat and may die of cold when I step off the plane... Or I'll drown if it's raining.
I am excited to go back, but terror outweighs it by more than I can convey.
The only things I have been thinking about is spending as much time as possible with the people I am closest to, packing, making sure I didn't forget something I'll actually need that I don't want to/couldn't buy over there, and eating all the good food I can, since, no offense guys, but you know... it is England.
*sigh*
one week from 23 minutes ago now... oh dear.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Big World... too much to think about.
Right now I should be on a plane to Mexico. Unfortunately, with having fundraising, moving, cleaning, getting my visa, seeing my friends, being sick, and being absurdly poor on my mind, I forgot that when I sent my passport to California to let the Brits put a UK passport in it, that I would need that same passport to get into/back out of Mexico later that week.
damn.
It was one of those thoughts that didn't even cross my mind. Which got me thinking about other thoughts, that until recently, have never crossed my worried mind. And trust me, it's full.
My brother, and one of my most beloved friends, is doing something very brave, especially considering his age. He is looking to buy a business. He wants to become an entrepreneur. To own his own coffee shop. Unfortunately, it costs money that he doesn't have.
His venture has gotten me thinking a lot about my own financial future. Yes, right now I am fundraising for my salary, but I highly doubt this will be the case forever. And eventually I'd like to have some amount of financial stability in my life. But does financial stability mean physical stability? or emotional or spiritual stability? Is there a career I could do and travel all over the world still? oh, but I guess I'd like to get married and all that...
humph... I guess one day I'll do the adult thing... lol. maybe.
damn.
It was one of those thoughts that didn't even cross my mind. Which got me thinking about other thoughts, that until recently, have never crossed my worried mind. And trust me, it's full.
My brother, and one of my most beloved friends, is doing something very brave, especially considering his age. He is looking to buy a business. He wants to become an entrepreneur. To own his own coffee shop. Unfortunately, it costs money that he doesn't have.
His venture has gotten me thinking a lot about my own financial future. Yes, right now I am fundraising for my salary, but I highly doubt this will be the case forever. And eventually I'd like to have some amount of financial stability in my life. But does financial stability mean physical stability? or emotional or spiritual stability? Is there a career I could do and travel all over the world still? oh, but I guess I'd like to get married and all that...
humph... I guess one day I'll do the adult thing... lol. maybe.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Why I Don't Blog Anymore
It seems funny to me to explain my lack of internet output in the last few months. Not like anyone reads this, but I believe that for the people that do, I should explain myself.
I am not one to outwardly express my thoughts before I finish them. Often, I absorb information, analyze what I think/feel about it, and react. When most people ask me about a situation they get my final thought process instead of everything it took me to get there. This seems to leave most people speculative about my sanity... I'm starting to agree.
In the last two months since my graduation I've had a lot to contemplate, and a lot to recover from. And alas, though I feel I am still far from feeling 100%, I am feeling better. Though I would like to regale the 6-7 people that read this with everything that went down, I believe putting life's more intimate details online for public scrutiny is faux pas... at least for me. But I will say that in conclusion (there I go again, not explaining anything) I am a liar. Not to other people, just to myself. I have been lying to myself for a while and I can't say when it started, or what I was attempting to cope with to get it where it is, but a liar is what I am.
I haven't been honest with myself, about myself, in a long time and now it seems time I fess up. My most appalling lie has been in my actions; to be more specific my thought actions. That makes no sense. Like I mentioned before, I don't simply react when something happens. And this thinking thing is my coping mechanism to... something. I used to just act, and life occurred just the same as it does now, and I felt less guilty about it.
So I have been considering thinking less, and acting more, and trying to feel less guilty about EVERYTHING that I do. After all, Christ didn't come to Earth to make me feel bad about who he created me to be. In fact, since God created me in His image I should feel more consistently blessed than condemned, but perhaps this is another topic.
So I'm putting this out there so that I can hopefully get some input. As we age, should we be more speculative about ourselves? About our actions? I have said to myself for a while now that I stopped flirting when I was interested in someone because I felt it was manipulative, but is something like flirtation manipulative? Or is it just a part of being who we are? What is the purpose of analyzing all my thoughts and actions? Should I just go with my gut?
Why as I get older do I only find more questions to ask?
oh joy... another question.
I am not one to outwardly express my thoughts before I finish them. Often, I absorb information, analyze what I think/feel about it, and react. When most people ask me about a situation they get my final thought process instead of everything it took me to get there. This seems to leave most people speculative about my sanity... I'm starting to agree.
In the last two months since my graduation I've had a lot to contemplate, and a lot to recover from. And alas, though I feel I am still far from feeling 100%, I am feeling better. Though I would like to regale the 6-7 people that read this with everything that went down, I believe putting life's more intimate details online for public scrutiny is faux pas... at least for me. But I will say that in conclusion (there I go again, not explaining anything) I am a liar. Not to other people, just to myself. I have been lying to myself for a while and I can't say when it started, or what I was attempting to cope with to get it where it is, but a liar is what I am.
I haven't been honest with myself, about myself, in a long time and now it seems time I fess up. My most appalling lie has been in my actions; to be more specific my thought actions. That makes no sense. Like I mentioned before, I don't simply react when something happens. And this thinking thing is my coping mechanism to... something. I used to just act, and life occurred just the same as it does now, and I felt less guilty about it.
So I have been considering thinking less, and acting more, and trying to feel less guilty about EVERYTHING that I do. After all, Christ didn't come to Earth to make me feel bad about who he created me to be. In fact, since God created me in His image I should feel more consistently blessed than condemned, but perhaps this is another topic.
So I'm putting this out there so that I can hopefully get some input. As we age, should we be more speculative about ourselves? About our actions? I have said to myself for a while now that I stopped flirting when I was interested in someone because I felt it was manipulative, but is something like flirtation manipulative? Or is it just a part of being who we are? What is the purpose of analyzing all my thoughts and actions? Should I just go with my gut?
Why as I get older do I only find more questions to ask?
oh joy... another question.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
contemplating
how is it that when I was younger I thought I was smart and now as I get older I know SOOO much less...
Friday, May 15, 2009
Where Do I Go From Here?
What do I put my hope in? Where do I invest my time? Where do I place my value? Recently I'm thinking I may have gotten these BIG questions wrong. I was doing it wrong. I put a lot of hope in a system, which God is taking from me. I've put a lot of time into that same system and the people there, and now God is moving me out of it. And I have received my value from the people in this system.
But some truth:
My hope is in Christ. And Christ alone. He is my strength and shield, my protector, my provider, and my best friend. The days that I'm not running after Him, I'm chasing nothing. And it took being a Christian for almost 9 years for me to get this as much as I do now, which may only be the tip of another iceberg.
How does one invest more time with Jesus other than in the word? yea. I'm still figuring that one out. But of all these questions, that's the only one I feel I have been doing better in for a while now.
My value is determined by Christ. By God. Not by what others say or think or how they react or act towards me... but out of all of these big questions, this one is the hardest to get over.
But some truth:
My hope is in Christ. And Christ alone. He is my strength and shield, my protector, my provider, and my best friend. The days that I'm not running after Him, I'm chasing nothing. And it took being a Christian for almost 9 years for me to get this as much as I do now, which may only be the tip of another iceberg.
How does one invest more time with Jesus other than in the word? yea. I'm still figuring that one out. But of all these questions, that's the only one I feel I have been doing better in for a while now.
My value is determined by Christ. By God. Not by what others say or think or how they react or act towards me... but out of all of these big questions, this one is the hardest to get over.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Missions Occur Where Ever the Lost People Are
I'm from Gilbert, Arizona. It's a small little farm town on the outskirts of Phoenix, one of the largest cities and one of the fastest growing in the US. Growing up in Gilbert, and especially being a teenager, provided me with the ability to have something to do in the city, while still having a very safe home. Not that Phoenix is all that dangerous anyway, but Gilbert is the kinda place where you can accidentally leave your doors open and nothing will get stolen.
Last week a murder occurred in Gilbert, Arizona. One of the safest places I can think of in the world. It's one of those: I go running at 3AM when I'm home and can't sleep, safe places. The biggest thing that happens to us is when tractors make traffic slow or kids toilet paper houses when it rains.
It's not that it freaks me out that my hometown isn't safe. If anything, Gilbert is more of a vacation residence for me, but I get the feeling that so many other people's lives were shaken up by the events. People in Gilbert base a lot of life purpose in possessions and things, in the idea of money making the world go round and living to be the "leave it to Beaver" family. Family's have cars and mopeds and 4-wheelers and boats, houses with more rooms than people and garages with more cars than licensed drivers. This is a place where "how it looks" is far more important than anything else.
I often think that the people who live to share their walks with Jesus with people in Gilbert are so much stronger than I. How do you advertise Christ to people who have EVERYTHING and whatever they don't have they could buy? Please send a quick prayer up for all the missionaries of Gilbert. They have their work cut out for them.
Last week a murder occurred in Gilbert, Arizona. One of the safest places I can think of in the world. It's one of those: I go running at 3AM when I'm home and can't sleep, safe places. The biggest thing that happens to us is when tractors make traffic slow or kids toilet paper houses when it rains.
It's not that it freaks me out that my hometown isn't safe. If anything, Gilbert is more of a vacation residence for me, but I get the feeling that so many other people's lives were shaken up by the events. People in Gilbert base a lot of life purpose in possessions and things, in the idea of money making the world go round and living to be the "leave it to Beaver" family. Family's have cars and mopeds and 4-wheelers and boats, houses with more rooms than people and garages with more cars than licensed drivers. This is a place where "how it looks" is far more important than anything else.
I often think that the people who live to share their walks with Jesus with people in Gilbert are so much stronger than I. How do you advertise Christ to people who have EVERYTHING and whatever they don't have they could buy? Please send a quick prayer up for all the missionaries of Gilbert. They have their work cut out for them.
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